One Dozen Stoner Jokes

One Dozen Stoner Jokes

Who doesn’t love to laugh? Whether it’s while watching our favorite 420-themed comedies or catching a case of the giggles around the campfire, laughter is the music of the soul, man!

Therefore, we at Euphoria felt it was only fitting to scour the internet for the top one dozen stoner jokes. Some are cheesy, some are better than others, but if you don’t chuckle at least once, you need to smoke more.

Here are our favorite stoner jokes of all time:











1.  How do you know when you’re stoned?

            When you are too phoned to stone home

2. What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?

Drug abuse

3. What’s a stoner’s idea of a balanced diet?

            A joint in each hand

4. What does a stoner who stayed on your couch for months say when finally ask him to leave?

            Nah, ‘ma stay

5. What do you call a person who remembers what they did at Woodstock?

            A liar

6. What do you call a family that grows marijuana together?

            A joint family

7.  If the whole world smoked a join at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

8. Police office says, “How high are you?” Stoner replies, “No officer, it’s ‘Hi, how are you?

9. It’s hard to naked and baked without wondering why the two words don’t rhyme.

10. What do you call one joint between five stoners?


11. How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

            Screw it, we have lighters

12. What did one stoner say to the other stoner?

            Uhh… I forgot

There you have it ladies and hippies, our top one dozen stoner jokes. Feel free to stop by our Psychedelic Head Shop in Bellmore, New York to trade jokes. You can also share your favorite dopey joke on our Euphoria Facebook Page or the in comments below.

~ Peace!